Tuesday 13 December 2016

WORDS TO NEVER SAY TO A WAITING COUPLE

       The world calls them ;the infertile couple' because they couldn't conceive a child in a year or more,i call them the waiting couple,waiting for a miracle,waiting for the day the sun will shine on them,but until then,they hold unto hope and blend in like it doesn't hurt.
        That couple is i and my husband,waiting for us is an uncomfortable situation,it causes anxiety and worry,however,we have remained strong through it all,my husband (i call him booboo)always reminds me that we are in this together,he has been by backbone ever since.We nhave been trying to conceive for 6years now,and it hasn't been a walk in the park,we have tried different things,spent almost all our savings on medical procedures,fasted and prayed and still,we still dont have our dream in our hands yet,so now we are just waiting,holding on for our breakthrough,for we are persuaded it will come to pass.
         In our years of waiting,we have heard some of the darndest comments and suggestions by people that claim they care,well maybe they do,but these comments have caused more harm than good to us,so i have listed a few of them below and will be bringing you more in my subsequent posts.
                              
1. When will you conceive
        people expect us to go about mourning and wailing about our inability to conceive,especially me,because im the woman (weaker vessel)and im also the playful one but guess what?we are human too,we love to talk,play,party and have some fun just like every other couple. I have had people come up to me to ask when i will conceive.?well...i dont know,i wish i can open my abdomen and tell my womb to conceive but until it happens,please never ask a waiting couple when they intend to conceive,THEY DONT KNOW!
                                
2. You can have my child
          This happens mostly in the African culture,people come to you offering their child or wards to replace your unborn children.Nothing is wrong with that,but allow us or any other waiting couple to make that decision,do not try to force it,it takes alot of preparation for a waiting couple to make a decision on adoption,until they voice it,never offer a child to them.
                                  

3. Have you been praying at all?
           Of course,the only thing we or a waiting couple does after all is said and done is pray and hope for a miracle,and that is why this question does more harm than good to us,it makes me feel like all my praying is  not working thus i tend to loose faith in my prayer and subsequently loose the only thing i am holding unto.HOPE
                                
4. I pity you
           Many people are guilty of this comment,even though it may come from a sincere heart but never show a waiting couple or say that you pity them,they want to feel normal and blend in,most people don't say it out but their attitude shows it and that simply is stigma,remember action speaks louder than words,show them you care but don't show them you pity them or how worried you are,THEY ALREADY KNOW.Do not add to the hurt they feel already.
                                  
             Waiting can be fun only if people learn to say the right things at the right time.There are however many comments to never say to a waiting couple.we will explore more of that in my next post.Lets paint the world with love.


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